Power

So, here we are again...

You are happy, smiling, playing with the baby.

I am fighting, raging, searching for a way to solve the unsolvable.

The fact is, the truth is, the only solution is time. Time build trust. I need time. Do I deserve it? I believe that I do. You don't want to hold all the cards. You don't. You don't want the power. Give it up.

I was shown something today. I learned that I am not a lost cause. I went to fill out a job application and basically was hired on the spot. I made the hair dresser who cut my hair laugh. I used abilities I usually reserve for my closest friends to get the things I need.

I need you. I learned that today too. I learned that through my actions. I need you to have faith in me. I need you to think about the months and months of good that disappear during your dark times.

It pains me that you see it as clarity. It isn't.

I love you. I WILL write to you tomorrow.